Microwave Safe

*watching Chris prepare leftovers*

A- "You know you took that out of a microwave safe container and put it into a non-microwave safe container?"
C- "I didn't know it was microwave safe!"
A- "It says so right on top of the container!"
C- "I don't read things!"
A- "Of course you don't."

Space Jeans

*looking for a Han Solo costume*

C- *pulls up a picture of Han Solo and Chewbacca*
A- "That's ACTUALLY Han Solo."
C- "Yeah I know, and that's what we need to find!"
A- "He's wearing LEGGINGS Chris. Do you want to wear leggings?"
C- "They aren't leggings, they're SPACE JEANS."

The Banana: Part Deux

It's GONE.

Chris- 0
Ashley- 1

Oh, Honey

*counting to himself while dealing cards*

C- "...5, 6, 7."
A- "...UM. I have four cards..."
C- *stares blankly at me*
A- "Did you think that because you got to a total of 7 that we both had 7 cards?"

*hysteria ensues, Chris begs me not to blog about this*

He's So Pretty

C- "When do you work?"
A- "Two to ten."
C- "Two AM!?!??"
A- "Yes Chris, two AM. I'm OBVIOUSLY going to go cashier at two in the morning."
C- "WELLLL I didn't know. Maybe you were cleaning or something."

Hulk

*discussing our future children's names*

C- "Well fine, you name the girl and I'll name the boy."
A- "That's fine, I like Jack."
C- "Yeah but you don't know what the middle name's going to be."
A- "What is it?"
C- "Hulk."
A- "You are NOT naming our child Hulk."
C- "Yep! Jack Hulk Evans."
A- "Absolutely not."

Well Thanks For Waking Me Up

*sound asleep*

C- "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT'S FOR!!!"
A- "What what's for?"
C- *mumbles*
A- "Hmm?"
C- "The SURVEY!"
A- "What survey?"
C- *in a very condescending tone* "HONEY."
A- "Go back to sleep."

I Wasn't Done

*getting something from the fridge*

A- "This wasn't shut."
C- "I wasn't done."
A- "You always say that."
C- "Babe I have turkey in my hand, obviously I wasn't done!"
A- "Ok well you're the boy who cried 'I wasn't done' so why should I believe you??"
C- "What does that even mean??"
A- "It means you always say that and you're ALWAYS done!!"
C- "Well...I wasn't done."

Grocery Shopping

*while shopping in the bulk food section at Winco*

C- "Whole pitted dots?"
A- "Dates."
C- *sniffs* "HOLY CRAP THAT'S TERRIBLE. I'm done smelling things."

The Banana

He won't pick it up because "he doesn't buy or eat the bananas." (Shenanigans, I've seen him eating several of the bananas.) I won't pick it up because it's in the kitchen which is not my responsibility. How long will this lone banana be with us?

Blasphemy

C- "Happy Feet 2 looks really effing stupid."
A- "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH IT LOOKS AMAZING!"

Gross.

Challenge...considered?

*walking around Walgreens*
C- "I WANT A HULA HOOP!" 
A- "If you can hula hoop right now you can have it."
C- *thinks about it* "Challenge not accepted."

Salaska

‎*studying a license plate at a red light*
C- "Where's this guy from?"
A- "Montana?"
C- "No..."
A- "Nevada?"
C- "No, it looks like it starts with an S."
A- "...Salaska?"
C- "Yeah, that's definitely what it is. Good job."


Don't ask me why I didn't say South Dakota.

The One That Started It All

Things I should not have to say to my 22 year old husband: "Do not throw chocolate chips at the cat."

Welcome to Our Life

I'm Ashley. I'm impatient, I'm intolerant, and I'm somehow happily married to Chris. Chris is...a free spirit. Ok well that's the nice way to put it. If I were a bitch, I'd say he can be kind of an idiot at times. But I'm a loving, doting wife so I won't say that. I'll just say that he hasn't lost that child-like wonder. I love him to death and he honestly is my best friend, but there are times when I just have to look at him and sigh. This blog will largely be about those times.

There are also times, however, where we play off each other and the resulting conversation makes me laugh. I've been posting these on Facebook, but under suggestion of a few friends I've decided to start this blog. I've never really been a blogger, so I don't really know what I'm doing here. Bear with me though, I'm hoping it'll be worth it :)